Being a Single mom does not make you a Father.

This last Sunday was National Father’s Day in Nigeria and as usual, a lot of single mothers took to different social media platforms to wish themselves a Happy Father’s Day, a friend of mine, even posted a picture of her mom wishing her a Happy Father’s Day.

The thought of writing this article came that day but I flagged it off because it might seem like an insensitive thing to do, however, yesterday while scrolling through Facebook, I saw a video posted on Ben Shapiro’s  Facebook page,

The Video showed an old episode of the Britain Good morning Show where the host, Amy Nickell was trying to push a narrative that men can also be Mothers, she stated that fathering and mothering are socially constructed roles that can be done by anyone irrespective of gender.

I don’t have anything against single moms or single parenting, I even respect dedicated ones, but we must understand that a woman can never be a father and a man can never be a mother. Both parenting roles are equally unique and invaluable.

Why can a single mom not be a father?

According to the Merriam-Webstar dictionary, a Father can be defined as a male parent, a man who has begotten a child or one related to another in a way suggesting that of father to a child.

The Verbal definition of  ‘Father’ means to fix the paternity or origin of or to accept responsibility for.

Countering Amy Nickell’s point of view where she said fathering and mothering are socially constructed roles that anyone can do irrespective of gender.

Fathers play a role in every child’s life that cannot be filled by others. This role can have a large impact on a child and help shape him or her into the person they become.

Fathers, like mothers, are pillars in the development of a child’s emotional well-being. Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them. They also look to their fathers to provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional.

Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.

Fathers not only influence who we are inside but how we have relationships with people as we grow. The way a father treats his child will influence what he or she looks for in other people.

A girl child depends on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like. she is most likely to go for a man with a similar attribute as her father.

The Boychild model themselves after their father’s character. Boys will seek approval from their fathers from a very young age. As human beings, we grow up by imitating the behavior of those around us; that’s how we learn to function in the world. If a father is caring and treats people with respect, the young boy will grow up much the same. When a father is absent, young boys look to other male figures to set the “rules” for behaving and surviving in the world.