15 Best Way To Break Up With Your Lover

Breaking up any romantic relationship is invariably painful, and it is worse when you can’t get over it easily. It leaves a lot of emotional collateral damage in you. Breaking up with your lover is to be done with tenderness and care; both parties have to put aside the desire to be done, in favor of taking time to separate with patience and love. Most times it is difficult to achieve, but surely a more expedient path to peace.

However, people tend to leave their lover in the most hurtful way. Rather than a calm, honest and loving reckoning, it lays waste to all the memories and joy the couple in question might have experienced together, putting the relationship in pain.

Some Reasons Why People Break Up in Hurtful Ways

Why do most lovers, who have spent most of their years loving each other, leave their relationship in such hurtful and harmful ways?

Although there are quite a number of reasons for this, it is mostly because of the following.

1. They can’t face the pain in their partner’s face when they tell them the relationship is over, and don’t want to feel responsible for the hurt.
2. Are unable to face the material consequences of insecurities of their decision to leave.
3. Don’t want to face their own unhappiness and take responsibility for it.
4. Blame their partner for their lack of success or dissatisfaction with their own life.
5. Other reasons may include an affair, physical rejection, addiction, anger, and feeling of contempt or scorn.

This tells us that there is a lot of hurt and pain between lovers that have not been addressed in an appropriate way, and had the correct tools to deal with fear, emptiness, and insecurities.’

In little to no time, we start hearing the whisper of emotional disconnection, avoidance of sex, constant fighting, joylessness, increasing times apart, we can just wrestle these emotional demons, if all effort fails to revive the romance and quality of connection and one can move forward.

Here are 15 ways you can end your relationship with your lover peacefully.

Ways to Break Up With Your Lover

1. Don’t just Break Up suddenly. Take time to dissolve the relationship by giving your partner notice and discussing reasonable ways to end things.
2. Be honest. Take full responsibility for your part in ending the relationship. You can just say “I gave up a long time when we were growing apart and I just didn’t fight for us, I stopped appreciating you and took you for granted, I need something different than what I am getting with you and I want to move on.” Yeah, it’s painful but it’s better said.
3. Give Space. Give your partner space to be upset and remove yourself immediately from any conversations that are abusive.
4. Complement them. Speak highly of your lover, because what you say about them means a lot to them and reflects a great deal about you.
5. Pay off all debts and split things up fairly.
6. Use this medium to take care of yourself by getting in shape, not just physically but mentally. It is a very stressful time.
7. Be faithful to your soon-to-be ex and do not involve anyone else romantically in your complicated emotional maelstrom until you are truly separated.
8. Give your partner a lot of physical space and let them attend to things without having to see your face.
9. Seek professional help to meditate finality if you are too frightened and find yourself backing off from your firm decision.
10. Take up a new class or hobby to help you fill the new free time that is often fraught with compulsive over-thinking.
11. Take time to feel all the emotions without involving your ex in a blow-by-blow battle. It is time for you to feel it all. Get a therapist or friend to be there for you.
12. Keep all your soon-to-be ex’s secret vulnerabilities SECRET. Do not ever reveal intimate facts. That would be tasteless and petty.
13. Refrain from any social media postings about your status. RESPECT the transition.
14. Take a short road trip alone or with friends to get some perspective after the big announcement.
15. When you make mistakes along the imperfect road of breaking up, admit to them and move on. Making a mistake is not code for failure.

I know this is easy to say but difficult to do, after so much of falling in love and the feeling we get about ourselves in the eyes of the beloved.  Falling out of love is also about enduring the feeling we get from looking in the eyes of one we have disappointed, looking in the mirror for the real lessons to be learned. (By the way, “Na Everybody Go Chop Breakfast”).