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When you push yourself into misery, you become self-destructive: Fight persistent, negative patterns of self-pity
Disturbing feelings that squeeze our ego more often render us completely helpless and cause us to behave destructively to express our despair. It has something to do with calling life unfair and playing a victim. It just feels so good because it keeps us from even taking the blame when things go wrong! Before we even realize it, we throw pity on ourselves every time we demand attention and sympathy.
Things often go terribly wrong for adults because of a series of decisions they may or may not have made. Look for lessons to learn from each setback, then move on. A brief period of self-pity to tend to your wounds is fine as long as it transitions to an even stronger determination to get back on your feet and actively seek a way out of your dilemmas.
When playing victim becomes your first reaction in dealing with life, your individuality is crippled in many ways. Excessive self-pity creates some or all of the following emotional states. If you can relate to any of the following, then you know it’s time to emerge from your darkness. Fast.
- Self-Pity locks you in an emotional vacuum
As you feel guilty, you drown yourself with what you think is unfair and what should have been; Your mind and heart have little room left for positive emotions. Lack of faith leads to lack of action to change your life. They unknowingly dig themselves a deeper hole that multiplies the unfortunate consequences even more and increases the number of reasons to feel bad!
- It prevents you from taking responsibility for your actions
Sometimes problems seem to bombard your life from all corners, leaving you wanting to do nothing but hide in a safe corner. Overwhelmed by inaction, we seek a miracle or savior to save us. Looking for someone or something else to change your life for the better can unconsciously become a regular expectation. Even if you find someone to take care of you, no one else can hold the reins of your life but you.
I constantly run away from sorting your stuffLife will bring up latent insecurities that will weaken your self-esteem. We’re all looking for the optimal time to start doing the things we’ve always wanted to do, where we feel and look our best, but that time never seems to come. The older you get, the more complex life becomes with your tasks and the more people depend on you. When thinking becomes overthinking, it’s time to get the most doable, easiest job and get moving.
- It makes you lose your inner peace
Constantly dwelling on the past or worrying about the future often inflames us to make unreasonable comparisons with others around us. Holding on to another person’s accomplishments will only fill our hearts with impatience and jealousy that limit our sense of gratitude for the blessings in our lives. The inability to feel grateful for our relative health, education, shelter, friends, family, or job is perhaps the root cause of self-imposed, needless misery.
If you must compare, then compare yourself to what you were yesterday. Learn to recognize the growth of your own personality and strive to make the best use of today. For now all you can do is sow the seeds for the dream life you wish to reap.
- It kills your creative energy
Creative engagement is a great source of joy and a great way to let go of negative feelings and experience catharsis. As mentally draining as it may seem, getting your mind to work in a state of self-pity, it brings tremendous satisfaction and personal growth in the end.
Whether you find expression in art, music, designing, writing, or even in a less artistic but mentally active medium to design your own workouts, make changes to your wardrobe, reorganize your daily life, or make changes in your workplace; Being open to change opens your mind to new possibilities.
On the other hand, a state of consistency that one could, should have, simply throws away valuable time and energy, leaving you missing out on brilliant opportunities.
- It makes you take your relationships for granted
Being overly self-pity can make you immensely self-centered to the point of being completely insensitive to your loved ones. While constantly playing victim, it doesn’t take long before you’re bullying those around you with one of your toxic monologues, driving them away.
Nothing makes a relationship worse than the inability to respond to someone else’s feelings. This should perhaps be the main reason to break free from depressive behavior patterns at the moment.